My mom looks like Mike Tyson's ex-wife [part two]

I suppose my mom was a stylish young thing back in her day because apparently she looks like Mike Tyson's ex-wife, Robin Givens. It all started one afternoon while my mom was shopping in a store where Mike Tyson happened to be. The store had been closed down so that Mr. Tyson could do whatever he was doing but I suppose my mother didn't get the memo. As she was looking around she happened to see Mike resting against a pole, she stared for a minute to double check and to her amazement it was in fact Mike Tyson. At that very instant, Mr. Tyson awoke from his short nap and was startled to see his ex-wife staring at him. Little did he know his "ex-wife" was my mother. He bounced out of his chair, drew back, and screamed “Ahhhhjubagamihukibalaopikalaratamubi!” At that very instant my mother was turned to stone. He must have seriously disliked his ex-wife. He ran over to my statue of a mother and inspected her closely only to realize it was a look alike of his ex-wife. Then he pulled out this odd dust substance and sprinkled it over my mother and she became real or alive or human again, whatever you wish to call it. He was infuriated that someone would scare him like that so as my mother pulled herself together he demanded that she must change all the clothing in the store to boxing gloves by tomorrow morning or he would turn her to stone forever. He whistled and his unicorn came galloping in. He climbed aboard and locked the door on his way out. My mother started to cry for she knew the task of turning clothes into boxing gloves was impossible. But as she was crying an elf walked over to her and said “I can help.” My mother ignored the fact that an elf had just appeared out of thin air and replied “How? I must turn all of this clothing into boxing gloves for Mike Tyson and I shall be turned into stone if I do not.” The elf said to her “Ahh, but I am the head of safety equiptment toys for Santa and know how to make boxing gloves.” My mother replied “Out of clothing?” but the elf said to her “I am an elf, I can do anything.” My mother was overjoyed and gave the elf her Rolex watch in gratitude. The elf worked all through the night turning clothes into boxing gloves while my mother slept. When my mother awoke the next morning the elf was gone but the room was filled with boxing gloves and empty of clothes. Mr. Tyson bursted through the door a minute later and was surprised to see that she had completed his task. He let her go and many years passed.

While staying at the Kea lani hotel with her family in Maui, my mother ran into Mr. Tyson once more. We were eating at a restaurant and my little brother ran over to Mike and stared at the massive man. He had on ear phones and was bobbing his head to the beat while waiting for his meal to arrive with his wife. My mother went over to collect my brother but when she turned the corner Mike once again drew back as far as he could in his seat and screamed just as he did before. After he turned her into stone, examened her, and brought her back to life, he yelled at her: “You shall pay this time lady!” He dragged her to the hotel boutique and commanded her to convert everything in the store into boxing gloves. He locked the door and she had until the morning to complete his task. Once more she began to cry and once more the elf appeared. He said to her “I shall help you once more but you must do something for me after. You must kill Santa because I want to take his place.” My mother knew Santa was not real so she agreed. The elf worked hard all night to convert everything in the store to boxing gloves. The next morning when my mother woke up the elf was gone but he had turned every last thing, including the wall paper into boxing gloves. Mike stormed in the next morning and was amazed to see what she had done. While his mouth was hanging open in awe, she left and went to find her family. Her family thought she was crazy when she told them what happened and told her to drop the subject. They left Maui and flew back to Virginia where they lived and everything was normal for the next year. However, a few days before Christmas the elf came to our house and reminded my mother that she had agreed to kill Santa in return for him making the gloves. My mother explained to the elf that Santa was not real but the elf didn’t listen but instead pulled out a snow globe and rubbed it three times. Instantly they were transported to the North Pole and my mother saw the enormous work shop. She even caught a glimpse of Santa checking his list, she was a believer now. The elf rubbed his globe again and they were transported back into our house. The elf gave my mom a schedule of Santa’s routes and times where he would be landed and told her to get the job done before Christmas day arrived. My mother, being a good, law-abiding citizen said “No, there is no way I’m going to murder Santa!” The elf replied “We had a deal. You better kill him or else I will hurt your family.” My mother started to beg and plead with him until she found a soft spot where he agreed to not make her kill Santa if she could guess how many toys he had made in his life time by Christmas Eve. Just then he disappeared and my mom got straight to work; she had two days. She spent all night on Google trying to figure out how many toys elf’s generally make. It was extremely hard considering there are not many articles on elves. The next morning the elf rang our door bell and she guessed numbers until the elf finally told her to give up and left. She spent the whole next day trying to make calls to the North Pole and sending people out to help her figure out the number. The elf came back that night and she read off a list of numbers but the elf just shook his head for two hours and told her she might as well just kill Santa already. In a desperate attempt to know the number she followed the elf out of the door back to his cabin which was not far from our house. She heard him start to sing and went closer to hear. “Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred toys.” over and over. It was almost some sort of melody that he kept repeating. And just before he turned out his light to go to bed, he said: "I’ve made five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred toys and that’s just too many Santa. By this time tomorrow you shall be dead because there is no way she will ever guess my number." My mom crept back to our house and went to sleep knowing her family would be safe. When the elf arrived bright and early the next morning my mother greeted him with a warm smile and led him to the living room. The number guessing began: “Twenty-seven thousand? Five hundred thousand?” When the elf heard five hundred thousand he sat up a little and became somewhat worried. Then my mother slowly said “Have you made five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred toys?” The elf leaped from his chair and screamed “No! How do you know? How do you know? No, no, no!” He was so infuriated that he ran into our kitchen, grabbed a knife and waited for Santa on the roof. It was Christmas Eve and my mother knew Santa would be arriving at our house soon. She dialed 911 and the police arrived at our house within five minutes. They climbed to our roof and cuffed the little man. The elf was eventually charged with attempted murder and sentenced to imprisonment for life. My mother lived happily ever after with her family and has never seen Mike Tyson again. Although, she has seen his boxing on television using the gloves that the little elf made so long ago. Hopefully they will not run into each other again to start off a crazy chain of events.